Hello people…
When Aya turned exactly one week old, she started sleeping through the night.
Awesome isn’t it? Read on…
According to the Internet, “through the night” means sleeping for at least 5 uninterrupted hours before waking up for a feeding. Aya slept at around 9 or 10 pm, woke up 5 hours later to nurse, and then 3 hours later, then 2 hours later, and then she was up for the day.
That was pretty awesome especially when I always had the preconception that babies will wake me up every 2 hours to nurse.
Her naps were good too, but she was never a baby that slept on her own. She had to be rocked or nursed to sleep, and then transferred to a bed.
This awesomeness lasted for exactly 40 days. On the 41st day, her naps changed. She refused to nap anywhere except in my or her dad’s arms; which was exhausting considering babies nap around a zillion times during the day. Night sleeps where still good though.
So that went on for a few months during which family members thought that we were spoiling Aya and that we should “throw her on any couch” and let her sleep on her own.
Aya, 6 days old
One night when Aya was 5 and a half months her dad and I decided that that was it. She had to learn to sleep in her own crib AND on her own. We had already agreed that we’d be using the Ferber method (CIO) when her age was appropriate. This site provided all the information we needed about the Ferber Method. So when it was her time to sleep that night we did the usual routine: changed her diaper, played and cuddled, gave her milk and made sure that she didn’t fall asleep (she was both breast- and bottle-fed at the time), then we put her in her crib. As soon as we put her in her crib Aya started crying. Daddy grabbed a chair in the next room and started the timer on his phone, and I went to the kitchen -closing all the doors behind me- and started washing every single dish in the kitchen twice. I remember going to my husband every now and then, cried, then went back to the kitchen.
She cried for exactly 1 hour 40 minutes before she finally slept. She woke up a couple of hours later sobbing, and the process started again. I can’t remember how long she cried each time she woke up the first night, but it was not pretty.
The second night was so much better: We put her in her crib at 8:45 pm and she cried for 15 minutes only! She woke up at 1:30 am, gave her milk and put her back in her crib. She might have cried a little but it sure was better than the previous night. Her naps were not so good though because we did not give her the pacifier when she napped (or at night, but it was worse during the day for some reason).
The third night was even better! She was in her crib by 8:45 pm and she didn’t cry at all! When she woke up at 2 in the morning I only gave her some water and put her back in her crib. She cried for 6 minutes. She woke up again at 5 am, I gave her milk and she went back to sleep. During the day she did not cry before her first nap, and cried for 5 minutes before her second nap.
At that point it was only getting better but it was still a long, hard process. When we visited our families it was hard to put Aya down for a nap without her crying. Of course when your family sees that you’re doing nothing while your baby is crying they’ll say that you’re one heartless parent. Talk about contradictions!
So here’s a summary of the pros and cons of our experiment with sleep training a baby:
I’ll start with the cons:
- Hearing my baby cry and not doing something about it is extremely hard.
- I had to have a support system! Thank God my husband was very supportive and determined. Had I decided to do CIO all on my own I would have probably given up after the first 30 minutes.
- It is now impossible for Aya to sleep ‘anywhere’. When it’s her time to sleep she has to be in her dark room in the comforts of her own crib. This makes it very hard for us to travel or leave her with my parents for a date night.
- You are going to be judged. People are going to make you feel horrible.
However, the pros make it all worth it:
- When Aya wants to sleep, we just put her in her crib and she’ll sleep. No more rocking!
- She now sleeps for 11-12 uninterrupted hours.
- After 7:30 pm, it’s me and my husband’s time! We can watch TV or do the things we love with no baby to run after!
- Aya learned that crying will not get her what she wants. She rarely cries now! I mean almost never! And when she does I know that she needs something.
- Well-rested babies are the happiest!
It didn’t happen in only three nights…it was a very long and stressing process for Aya to always sleep without crying or whining, and if there was one thing I would change, it would be that I would try the Ferber method with the pacifier. It would have made our life and my baby’s a lot easier.
Aya still wakes up in the middle of the night from time to time, but that’s okay. A hug and a few sips of water and she’s back to sleep :)
A baby who sleeps enough is a happy baby, people! Choose whichever method you want but don’t deprive your baby from his needed sleeping hours. There might be compromises, but that’s our job as parents and it’s totally worth it.
I guess the point of this post is that when you have your own little family you should do whatever you feel is right and whatever works best for your family. You are going to be judged anyway; you are going to be put down anyway; so just focus on your baby’s health and wellbeing (and your sanity!) and follow your gut feeling.
Happy sleeping, babies and parents!
Sanctuary of A Stay-at-Home Mama 