After giving birth to Aya three of my mom’s close friends wanted to see me and my new baby. So when Aya was about a month old we all gathered at my mom’s house and they congratulated me and gave us gifts and whatnots. Aya of course decided that she didn’t want to stay quiet that evening; she was tired and fussy and sleepy. So while the women were chatting I took a corner and breastfed Aya but she didn’t sleep, so I laid her on my chest and went back to sit with the ladies, and she slept while I stroked her back.
“Did she sleep?” One of the ladies asked. I nodded.
“This is a very big mistake! Don’t let her get used to sleeping while being carried! Just put her on any couch and she’ll learn to sleep on her own.” Said another woman. “If you carry her all the time now she’ll always want you to carry her when she’s older.”
Although I did not do what she suggested, I kind of believed her at that time. After all, she was a grandmother and I was nothing but a n00b mom! But I wasn’t ready to let my tiny baby cry that day.
Or any other day.
When Aya was exactly 41 days old she refused to sleep on anything other than our arms. She didn’t care whose arms she was sleeping on, as long as there were arms under her head and a chest right next to her tiny body. The moment you put her down she’d wake up crying. That was the case for all her naps. It was E.X.H.A.U.S.T.I.N.G. But hey! I’m a mother now and that felt like it’s my new job. Not all babies are like that, but God gave me a demanding baby! Move on!
So that lasted until she was a little older than 5 months, and then we sleep-trained her and everything became perfect!
Now that Aya is 17 months old, let me tell you that that “experienced” woman’s advice was THE worst advice I got ever since having Aya. And guess what? Aya doesn’t like to be carried all the time! She rarely asks us to carry her. I honestly don’t regret carrying her almost 12 hours a day for 5 months. In fact, I wish I carried her more! They’re only tiny for a very little while! And if you think about it, what does a tiny baby need after leaving the comforts of his mom’s uterus? They only need milk and their mom’s touch! Satisfy this need when they’re tiny and light and you won’t have to make up for it when they’re older and know how to nag!
Have you ever wondered why the kids of the poor people in some poor countries are always quiet? You almost don’t hear their voice even when they’re toddlers! I bet it’s because their moms baby-wore them since they were born, all day long! Why would they cry? They don’t need to! Their moms will sense and satisfy all their needs instantly because they’re so close to them all the time.
Happy attachment parenting and baby-wearing, everyone!
Sanctuary of A Stay-at-Home Mama 